


Love You To Death

by Vayentha



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt, How Do I Tag, Hurt, I Don't Even Know, M/M, alternative ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 10:40:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15970649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vayentha/pseuds/Vayentha
Summary: "The Lion's Pride Part 2" had a different ending. The Black Lion had a harsh landing, too harsh for anyone to survive. Keith died, the Voltron Team suffered a great loss, and Shiro is devastated.





	Love You To Death

**Author's Note:**

> This is written in Shiro's POV and is describing the moments after Keith's death, up to the day of the speech. The title is from a song by Type O Negative.  
> I have no explanation for this,, making the characters I love suffer is a coping mechanism,,,,,  
> Heavily inspired by [this piece of fanart](https://zuspacey.tumblr.com/post/177908155470/the-black-lion-has-trouble-letting-go-of-her)

He had been lying on his bed for a long time. He didn't remember how he'd gotten there, it was all a blur. Somehow, he'd managed to lay on a pillow, hugging another one, with his left side glued to the wall. There was an ache deep in his stomach that didn't seem to have any plans on leaving. It had spread through him, to his heart and his veins. He was rubbing his left hand with his metallic fingers, trying to soothe the pain away, and failing. He hadn't cried; not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. When he saw the realisation in the doctors' faces, he felt his blood get cold, and a numbness spread over him. The fear he'd felt when he'd found Keith was nothing compared to the dread that overcame him when doctor Kwon announced the time of death. He'd kept screaming for him to come back, not leave him, but the nurses managed to get him out of the room. 

His mind kept bringing back the memory of finding the black lion wrecked; of managing to get in the cockpit, only to find it drenched in blood; of seeing the medics carefully carry Keith outside, while he was watching from a distance, unable to do anything to help him. He held his breath once more, until he got dizzy and felt like his lungs were on fire. When he breathed again, it felt both sweeter and more painful than before. 

He heard a knock on his door, but he didn't answer. His visitor waited for a few seconds and then walked in the room. They walked inside, and stopped when they reached the bed. 

"Shiro..." Coran's voice sounded pained, and as he heard it, he felt like he was stabbed in the chest by a thousand blades. "I know how much he meant to you," he said quietly. "I know you need to grieve, and we'll let you, but you must understand, we're a team, Shiro, and that doesn't change now. We're all here for you". He must’ve expected him to respond, because he stood still for a while. When it became certain Shiro wouldn’t answer, Coran left the room.

He turned, laying on his side, with his back on the wall, and hugged his pillow tight. Team. They weren't a team anymore, how could they be? Keith was- He took a deep breath and held it. He couldn't even think of the word. That would mean accepting it, and he wasn't ready. That couldn't be it. Sure, something could be done. Perhaps.... Black! Perhaps Black managed to save Keith after all! He quickly got up, ignoring the dizziness, the blood pounding so fast he could hear it and the blackening of his vision, and he ran. 

As he turned right, he almost bumped into two figures. Officers Mmambu and Jefferson, he realised after a moment. They both looked at him like they'd seen a ghost. 

"Shiro, are you okay?". Anaya sounded both scared and worried. "Where are you going?" she asked. 

"Allura. I have to find her," he muttered and kept running. 

When he reached the medical sector, he stopped on his heels. Suddenly he realised something that made him drench in cold sweat. He didn't know what had happened of the others. 

He looked around him, trying to even his frantic breathing. He looked around, remembering his doctor's words. _Find five things you can see_. A chair. A lamp. A door. Leaflets. A window. _Find four things you can touch_. The wall. His shirt. A plant. A medical poster. A door. _Find three things you can hear_. A wheelchair. Footsteps. A nurse talking. _Find two things you can smell_. Antiseptic. Rubbing alco-

"Shiro, what are you doing here?" The sound of Coran's voice startled him. "Let's get you back to your-" 

"No," he said abruptly and turned to face Coran. "Where's Allura? Where are the others?" 

"They're all resting. They had quite the falls, but they're all going to be alright". 

"Where's Allura? Is she awake?" 

"Shiro, let's go for a walk outside, if you don't want to go back to your-" 

"No!" he screamed. "I need to find Allura, she can save him!" 

Coran's face darkened. "Shiro, Keith is dea-" 

"So was I!" he shouted and grabbed Coran's shirt. "But Black saved me, and Allura brought me back! I'm sure she did the same for Keith, and Allura can bring him back too!". 

He gently removed Shiro's hands from his shirt and held them in his own. "I'll talk to her when she's better," he said calmly. "Until then you should rest as well". 

"It might be too late by then!" 

"What is the matter?". They both turned to see Allura standing outside a room, leaning on the door. 

"Princess, you have to rest-" 

"You have to save Keith," said Shiro urgently, now feeling his eyes filling with the tears he hadn't shed all these hours. "Please," he whispered, "only you can bring him back". 

 

Allura was kneeling in front of the Black Lion, her hands on the big, metallic face. She had been there for too long. Shiro was standing behind her, holding his breath, and not daring to take his eyes off them. Coran, as well as Pidge, Lance, Hunk, Iverson and a few more senior officers were there too, but his brain didn't register their presence.  
Finally, Allura rose. She was looking at the ground. "He's not there," she whispered, without turning around to face them. 

"What do you mean?". He strode towards the mechanical lion. "No. No, this can't be right. He must be there, somewhere. Black couldn't have left him!" he shouted, hitting the Lion with his fists. "Keith! Please, come back! Baby, please! I know you have him, you didn't leave me, how could you leave him, Black?! Keith!" he shouted again, his voice breaking at the last word. "Don't leave me," he whispered and felt his knees giving up. He fell on the ground, supporting his upper body on the Black Lion. He tried to breathe but to no avail, his whole chest was on fire. His mouth filled with saliva, and his throat and stomach tied in a knot. "Kei..." he tried to say his name, and he felt a pain in his stomach. He turned just in time, and puked on the ground. 

"Shiro!". He didn't know who'd said it, and didn't care to find out. "Wait!" they shouted as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and shakily stood up, but he ignored them and tried to leave. "Shiro, where are you going? Wait!". He felt a hand on his shoulder but he pushed it away and tried to run. 

The tears that had filled his eyes streamed down his face as he walked away, blurring his vision. He walked all the way to the parking lot. His hoverbike was waiting for him there. 

 

It had already been dark for many hours when he returned, and the air had dried his tears, the only sign he had been crying being his red eyes and the streams on his cheeks, where the dirt was cleaned by the salty water. He headed straight to his room, as fast as he could, trying to avoid everyone.

When he walked inside, he locked the door and turned around. He was about to collapse on his bed, when he saw something red and white on the sole chair in his room. His jacket. He took it in his trembling hands, closing his eyes, and brought it to his chest, hugging it tightly. He felt his eyes watering again, and let the tears flow. When he opened his eyes again, he saw a piece of paper on the ground. He picked it up and read the first two lines. Of course they wanted _him_.He threw the paper down, leaving it for later, and lied on the bed, bringing the jacket to his nose. He took a deep breath. It smelled like Keith, and the sensation was so strong it made him dizzy. He held it tight, as he sobbed quietly.

 

 

“Today is a solemn day”. He barely recognized his own voice. He was reading the speech that the higher ups had written. They’d deemed him the most fit to read it. After all, he was Voltron’s former leader, ALTAS’ Captain, he’d been fighting in the front lines of this war for a long time. The people gathered in front of him, a great part of the remaining human population, were focused on him, expecting him to give them the courage that he himself didn’t have. “Today we look back at the lives that have been lost, and the sacrifices that have been made here on Earth and across the universe”. His left eye was twitching, but he ignored it. If he managed to read this, he was free to go back to his room. “There isn’t one of us here today who hasn’t experienced the tragedy of losing someone close”. He gulped, feeling like he was swallowing a rock. “It truly feels like a light has gone out in our lives, and the sun itself couldn’t reignite it”. He coughed, trying to stabilize his voice enough to finish the speech. “But that light, that fire, has not gone out completely,” he said, his voice shaking, and he thought, _hypocrite_. “It is fueled within each of us by the memories and the love of those we lost. And now we most move forward in their names and shine that light onto a new path for future generations. Today is a solemn day, but it is also a day of hope. Earth is now stronger than ever, and it stands as a beacon of light to help guide those fighting against tyranny and oppression. From here we will spread peace, and together we will hold strong as the defenders of the universe”.

He left the speaker’s platform, trying his best to seem composed, but knowing the bags under his eyes and the redness of his face were betraying him. He hadn’t left his room in days, constantly drifting in and out of sleep. The Paladins, Coran, Sam and Iverson were visiting him, trying to talk to him, to make him eat, but he always stayed in bed, holding Keith’s jacket in his hands. They tried to comfort him, but thankfully they’d stopped after a few times of him shoving them away. They’d lost him too, and he wanted to be there for them, but he couldn’t. He had passed the breaking point.

He walked inside the base and headed straight to the dorms. As he took the final turn to his room, he saw a figure leaning on the wall next to his door. When he realised who is was, he froze. Krolia’s head turned to him abruptly when she heard him, and they stayed there for a few moments, looking at each other. He didn’t know who moved first, but it didn’t matter. They run and hugged each other tightly, almost painfully so. Whereas in others he found even the slightest touch to be suffocating, he felt relieved to be hugged by her. They held each other and sobbed together, and he felt warmth spreading over him. Krolia’s legs gave away, and he held her, slowly kneeling with her.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t- I couldn’t save him”.

Krolia shook her head and hugged him tighter.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [tumblr](https://quantum-state-of-sheith.tumblr.com), come say hi if you want!


End file.
